


The Fundamental Importance of Silencing Spells

by humanveil



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Accidental Voyeurism, Crack Treated Seriously, Multi, ish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-03
Updated: 2016-06-03
Packaged: 2018-07-12 00:16:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7076605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/humanveil/pseuds/humanveil
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“<em>Why would</em>—Narcissa,” Lucius cuts himself off, fingers moving to pinch the bridge of his nose before he continues. “That is our <em>son</em>. Our <em>seventeen year old son</em>. Having sex. <em>Sex</em>.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Fundamental Importance of Silencing Spells

**Author's Note:**

> For the wonderful Adam, who I have successfully dragged into snaco hell with me. I hope you like my crack, you wonderful human being.

It takes a moment to realise just _who_ is in his son’s bedroom, but when he does, Lucius bolts upright, eyes growing wide as he turns to look at his wife. Narcissa stares up at him, her face expressing slight confusion at the sudden movement.

“What?”

“ _What_?” Lucius repeats, shocked. “What do you mean _what_? You _can_ hear that, can't you?”

To prove his point, a loud, high pitched whine sounds from the room adjacent to their's. The noises have been going on for close to fifteen minutes now, each pleased scream or whimper accompanied by a lower, deeper voice. The sounds are muffled, the thick Manor walls hiding the worst of it, but it's there, and, no matter how hard he tries, Lucius can't not hear it.

“Of course I can,” Narcissa replies, lips twitched in amusement.

“You don't seem bothered by it.”

“Why would I?”

“ _Why would_ —Narcissa,” Lucius cuts himself off, fingers moving to pinch the bridge of his nose before he continues. “That is our _son_. Our _seventeen year old son_. Having sex. _Sex_.”

“We were having sex at seventeen,” Narcissa replies, moving in her spot on the bed to sit against the headboard. “You nearly got me pregnant at seventeen. What's the big deal?”

“We weren't going at it while our parents were in the next room!”

“Well… there was that one time in the—”

“That's not the point,” Lucius says quickly, glaring at her when Narcissa laughs. “We weren't having sex with our parent’s friends, were we.”

A louder scream sounds, and Lucius thinks he can make out a half choked _professor_. He only _just_ manages to not cover his ears with his hands and scream.

Narcissa watches him, an amused smirk on her face. “Don't tell me you didn't know.”

“Didn't know what?”

“That he and Severus…” Narcissa stops talking as a horrified looks dawns on Lucius’ face, unable to stop the slight eye roll at his reaction. “Darling,” she says slowly, as if talking to a child. “You have seen how they look at each other, haven't you?”

“How is that related to _this_?”

Narcissa shakes her head at him, sighing quietly. There's a smile on her face, though, a sparkle in her eyes as she watches Lucius’ mini breakdown. She agrees that it's awkward, but _really_ , there was no need to be so dramatic.

“Just turn the lights off and go to sleep,” she answers, settling back into the bed.

“ _Sleep_? You can't possibly expect me to be able to sleep like this.”

“Just ignore it.”

“ _Ignore it_ — Cissy, _please_.” Another scream, followed by a low grunt cuts off his words, and Lucius pauses for a moment. Taking a deep breath, he says, “That's it. I'm going to go—”

“You're not going to go anywhere,” Narcissa tells him, her voice showing no room for argument. “You're going to lie down, be quiet, and _go to bloody sleep_.”

“But—”

“Lucius.”

With an annoyed sigh, he gives in. The lights go out with a wave of his hand, the room plunging into darkness as he lies back down. Narcissa cuddles against him immediately, and he can feel her smile against his bare chest.

“Just think of other things,” she murmurs, leaning up to place a quick kiss to his cheek. “They'll be done soon. Severus isn't as young as he once was.”

And wasn't _that_ something to think about, Lucius thought, grumbling quietly as he squirmed against the bed.

“I'm never speaking to either of them ever again.”

Narcissa laughs once more, pulling the duvet around the both of them. “Of course not, honey.”

*

The next day, Lucius can't bring himself to look at Draco. He sits stiffly, staring down at his plate to avoid eye contact. He glares a little at Severus, who sits across from him, the tiniest hint of satisfaction colouring his face.

Narcissa looks between the three of them, shaking her head as she takes her own seat and pours a cup of tea. “You're all so childish,” she murmurs, though her face still holds traces of amusement. Draco looks confused at the words, but doesn't say anything in his half asleep state.

They're already halfway through breakfast when Draco drops his fork, eyes widening as he turns to face Severus, a shocked _you told me you used a silencing charm!_ leaving his mouth.


End file.
